Useless Description Addons, for Skyrim SE

 a.k.a. random item descriptions (flavor texts) for vanilla and DLC items, using Description Framework. Also requires po3's Tweaks because I'm mainly using editor ID for this.

Download (Mediafire)

What's included:

• Food items! Covers vanilla, DLC, and Creation Club items (Survival Mode, Fishing, etc)
• Potions and poisons! Covers vanilla, DLC, and some Creation Club items. This also includes Varla Stones and Camping Supplies, which are categorized as ingestible for some reason
• Spelltomes, scrolls (two generic descriptions that apply to all spelltomes and all scrolls). Unique descriptions for spider scrolls from Dragonborn DLC
• Miscellaneous items! Dragon claws, ingots, ores, animal pelts, etc. Also a single description for Necrotic Shards that I snuck in there when I was still using Darenii's spell mods
• Some minor correction for Mythos of Skyrim and Blurbs of Skyrim description entries--can easily be deleted if you don't want them

Whats NOT included:

• Weapons and armor, soul gems and keys, books and notes, several artifacts in the miscellaneous section, etc. I use other people's mods for that (and in the case of weapons and armor, I haven't finished all the entries

Big ass caveats:

• Potion descriptions are NOT compatible with Apothecary, not only because I used editor IDs and that mod changes these IDs, but that mod also changes the effect of several potions, so the descriptions no longer make sense. Ideally I'd make a separate mod for Apothecary, but I can't be arsed at the moment. Playing vanilla rn.

Why I'm doing this:

• I like writing random stuff, and I'm not a fan of some of the existing description mods on the Nexus. They're either too nondescript or smells too much like AI writing for me to take seriously. And even if my English isn't the best, I can confidently say that I put more care into my descriptions than what an AI might think or say
• I've made sure to actually put some gameplay value into the descriptions, like hinting on what kind of food can be made from certain raw items (though they do end up sounding repetitive, like every single grilled/cooked food has "___ seasoned with salt and cooked over an open fire"), or where you can find this type of ore.

Here's a small example:

AleWhiterunQuest|A watered down version of Argonian Bloodwine. Cheap and bitter.
DB03Poison|Made from special lotus flowers, this poison is designed to chill its victim's blood and ensure a slow, excruciating death.
FavorFoodMarkarthSpicedBeef|A special meat roasted and seasoned with spices. It's unclear what kind of meat it's made from, although it looks similar to pork.
MQ101JuniperMead|Like your average Nord Mead, with extra sweetness from honey and juniper berry extract. Produced only in Helgen.
FoodApple|A round, vibrant, sweet-tasting fruit. Many Nord cuisines integrate apples in their stews, as well as filling for various pastries and cakes.
FoodRabbit|Meat taken from a rabbit's leg. Can be roasted over open fire to make rabit haunch.
FoodHorseMeatCooked|A slab of horse meat, simply seasoned with salt and grilled over an open fire.
ccBGSSSE001_FoodSoupCrabStew|It takes considerable skill to turn lean crab meat into a full, hearty meal. Sliced potatoes mixed into the broth and garnished with leeks and garlic, guaranteed to keep you full for an entire evening.

CureDisease|An ambrosiac capable of curing all but the most severe diseases, this potion is often carried by monster hunters, Vigilants, and the Silver-Hands.

CurePoison|Resembling a regular healing potion but with a slight milky texture, this antivenom will cure all but the most powerful lingering poison.
DamageHealth01|This poison induces immediate sickness upon its victim, and may even kill those already on the brink of death. One of the most common type of poison used in assassinations.
FortifySkillConjuration01|This potion grants its imbiber a year's worth knowledge on Conjuration magic, but only for a limited time. It is said that the power bottled within strengthens your innate connection to the Oblivion planes.
FortifySkillLockpicking01|For a limited time, drinking this potion grants you the know-how to crack open strongboxes, safes, gates, doors and other objects with intricate locks. Agile fingers in one simple draught.
RestoreHealth01|This potion restores some amount of health upon drinking, and is one of the most common potions used by fighters and adventurers.
TGPotionofEscape01|Even a seasoned thief would swear their life on this potion, and for good reason. With its invisibility and healing properties, this draught provides the perfect succor should your luck dries out.

dunDeadMensRubyDragonClaw|A ruby-studded ornament made to resemble a dragon's claw. The carving at the back depicts Wolf--Hawk--Wolf.
GemAmethyst|Early Colovians would carve drinking vessels out of amethyst quartz, believing the stone's properties would protect them from drunkenness. Naturally, this made the gem's usage less popular among the ancient Nords.
GemSapphireFlawless|A precious stone with a striking blue shade, its remarkable toughness is only rivaled by diamonds. This particular sapphire has been cut and polished to near perfection.
dunUniqueMothInJar|A glass jar containing a single translucent moth.
DA14Ring|A gold wedding band. It's too small to fit in your finger, and it's oddly coated in liquor... and some unseemly bodily fluids.
MS12MammothTuskPowder|Only the giants of Skyrim possess the raw power, tools, and know-how to turn a sturdy mammoth tusk into this fine powder. Strangely enough, that's all they ever do with it.
dunMiddenRingPithiken|A gold ring with a single emerald gem laid at the center. It's too small to fit in your finger, but maybe you can find another use for it somewhere?
GoatHide|The hide of a goat. Very fluffy. Can be processed on a tanning rack to produce a small amount of leather.
DLC1BoneHawkClaw|The claws of a bone hawk, a species of undead birds found circling above Castle Volkihar. An eccentric jeweler might fashion it into macabre-looking rings and amulets.
DwarvenLargeScrap2|A piece of Dwarven metal, broken off from a machinery. Can be broken down in a smelter to produce Dwarven ingots.
IngotIMoonstone|An ingot processed from chunks of moonstone ore. Favored by the Altmer and Khajiit for its striking yellow-greenish shade. Mainly used in the production of Elven and Glass armor and weapons.
MGRArniel04SoulGem|This soul gem has been warped through intense heat, rendering it unusable. It's uncomfortably warm to the touch.

Best paired with: 

• (insert any description mod that doesn't use AI writing here)
• Creation Club Item Descriptions (there are some I missed)
• Blurbs of Skyrim

And with the nature of Description Framework mods being so easily editable (literally, just open the ini file, make the change, and save), no I will not be taking criticism about how stupid my writing is or how hammy it sounds or whatever. Just edit it yourself, my word.

Of course the spelltome and scroll descriptions might get erroneously applied to items that aren't spelltomes or scrolls, that's just the nature of keywording (DF will apply the descriptions on all items with the keyword VendorItemSpellTome and VendorItemScroll, respectively). If it bothers you just delete the file __KW_SpellScroll_DESC.ini, or open it and remove the first two entries.